What does it mean to be Metrosexual? Metrosexuality has become quite the worldwide phenomenon and the word universally known. The term Metrosexual, was first used to describe a “heterosexual man who acted or behaved like he was homosexual or bisexual.” While many men (though metrosexuality applies to women as well) would have a hard time with this description, they are ok with a more ambiguous description of someone who embraces and accepts his feminine side and takes care in his appearance. Ok, so this is obviously a trend that has been going on for some time, a trend that is very much the status quo among the secular crowds. However its hard to say that even now because as humans, specifically the Christian religious crowd, there is the tendency to follow the latest fashion propaganda at any cost. But how does it look when worship leaders of the Christian faith start to embrace the fashion status quo, all in the name of identifying and blending with the non faith practicing person? In other words a means to reach out and not seem like a peculiar, Bible thumping, Christian. Now please don’t get me wrong, we should look and dress our best, not sloppy and unkept (and even after reading this disclaimer, someone will invariably claim that I’m saying we are not suppose to look presentable and in good taste - something about the human tendency for mental shutdown and blockage on a point), but there is a difference, that difference being, time, money and self worship. Someone that is over the top in appearance, clothing, and material possessions, IMHO; that mentality is problematic, especially for the Christian that is called to be “in the world but not of the world.” Furthermore it looks like the the Metrosexual trend is also grungy too - ahh the vicious circle.
As a practicing Seventh - Day Adventist, I find it a little on the humorous side, as Adventists, it is apparent that some of us are about two steps behind the world (trying to keep up with it) and one step behind the contemporary, postmodern, evangelicals. In this case, its the Metrosexual Worship leader. In light of all this, here is a list of identifying characteristics of the Metrosexual Worship leader, taken from the book, Stuff Christians Like, by Jonathan Acuff. In the context of the book, it takes a humorous perspective, which initially, I laughed as well. I think my laughter was more because these characteristics I have seen in a lot of Seventh-day Adventist Worship Leaders (Prayer & Praise, Youth Pastors, and Senior Pastors alike) and it really hit me how much it means to us to be accepted and not appear like one of those Christian, Final Generationalists. Well with out further procrastination here is the list.
- Has a faux hawk hairstyle
- Has more product in his hair than you wife
- Has Rob Bell-style, black rimmed glasses
- They are not prescription, but just for effect
- Attends the Catalyst Conference - A conference that helps worship leaders blend in with the postmodern secular society, as well as gives them ideas and tactics to entertain A.D.D. worship goers.
- Performs at the Catalyst Conference
- Owns white Puma, Vans, Asics, or Diesel sneakers
- Wears jeans on stage
- Wears designer jeans on stage
- Wears designer ladies jeans on stage...aka skinny jeans
- Wears Wranglers or Rustler jeans on stage
- Has a goatee
- Wears on of the Castro revolution looking hats
- Drinks coffee on stage
- Drinks some kind of coffee you did not know existed
- Brings a French press on stage and makes his own coffee during service
- Has a handlebar mustache
- Good at Frisbee but hates getting all “sweaty”
- Has a haircut that covers on of his eyes while singing
- Owns a white belt
- Wears suspenders, although no in an ironic way
- Wears a scarf, with a T-shirt
- Wears a winter knit hat even in the summer
- Reads quotes from the Bible between songs using his iPhone or Kindle
- Driving an Audi or VW (silver, of course)
- Uses the words postmodern, relevant, anything with “re” as a prefix, or emergent nonstop
- Cringes a little when people say the “H word” (Hymnal)
- Owns a Grizzly Adams red and black flannel shirt
- Named his kid after a color, number, or city
- Casually references Norwegians punk bands you’ve never heard of
- Wears a tie
- Wears a tie as a belt
- Looks as if he might exfoliate
- Has a man bag or European Carry-All
- Brings said bag onstage with him
- Has a tattoo
- Has a visible tattoo
- Wife accompanies him on stage and plays tambourine
- Was formerly in a punk new wave band
- Is currently in a punk new wave band
- Your wife ever says, “He needs a barrette for his hair.”
- Has a soul patch
- Won’t play barefoot on stage until he gets a pedicure
- Refers to California as “the left coast”
- Twitters and updates his blog while leading worship
- Read that last line and laughed at how outdated Twitter is because he’s already using some sort of hologram technology the rest of the world won’t find out about for three years.
- His toddler dressed cooler than YOU!
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